


Adult Feelings and Bad Habits

by tezzysaurus



Category: B.A.P, TRCNG, TRCNG (Band)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, It's kind of sad, Jisung is Youngjae's son, M/M, Mentions of Death, Parenthood, not major character death though so don't worry, there's a bit of himlo and bangup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 16:41:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13127529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tezzysaurus/pseuds/tezzysaurus
Summary: Youngjae didn't know if his son had a crush on the daycare worker or if he was playing matchmaker for his dad.





	Adult Feelings and Bad Habits

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Holidays, here's some fluff

Youngjae loved his son, but, his son had a bad habit.

This bad habit was being absolutely smitten with his caretaker in nursery. Not that Youngjae could blame the boy because hell Youngjae had a major crush on him. However, attempting to get him home was always a problem.

Youngjae pulled his car into the parking lot of the centre, got out and locked his car and entered the building, seeing parents taking their fellow 5-year-olds past him while he saw a familiar mop of fluffy black hair playing with a man with chocolate brown hair and a smile that reminded him of a vampire in reverse. Youngjae melted at the familiar scene while slowly walking over, getting a wave from the nursery worker before his son turned around.

“Dad!” The boy bounced in delight towards his father, hugging his legs. Youngjae bent down and picked him up, smiling brightly.

“Yes, Jisungie, I’m here,” he replied, nuzzling his nose against his son’s.

“Is Daedae coming home with us this time dad?” Jisung asked, pouting. Youngjae looked at the nursery worker, a little panic in his eyes.

“I can’t Jisung,” Daehyun responded, “I have to go to my own house tonight, but I’ll see you tomorrow ok?” He walked towards the pair, giving the child a gently ruffle of his hair before escorting Youngjae and him to the door. Youngjae put Jisung down, holding his hand while Jisung also held Daehyun’s hand. 

“Thanks a lot as always,” Youngjae said, smiling at Daehyun once they were out of the door, “I’m sorry I work so much I feel like such a pain.”

“Youngjae honestly,” Daehyun smiled, leaning down to Jisung’s level before looking up at the father, “don’t worry about it, it’s what I’m here for.”

“Do we have to go?” Jisung asked, pouting again, looking up at his dad before throwing himself into the nursery worker’s arms.

“I’m sorry Jisungie,” Youngjae pulled his arm gently, tugging the small boy over to the car and helping him in, fastening his seatbelt before getting in and heading home.

 

~

 

After convincing him with cartoons and dinner, Jisung finally stopped pouting for the evening.

“Why can’t Daedae come over?” Jisung asked, looking at Youngjae.

“Because he’s an adult and us adults can be very busy,” Youngjae responded, not wanting to tell his son that he was too afraid to ask him to begin with.

“Daedae could be my dad too though,” Jisung said, colouring in one of his colouring books, the kid demanded a superhero one earlier in the month. Youngjae went red in the face at the idea, grabbing a pillow and hugging it while admiring his son’s creative streak. 

“Daehyun probably has a girlfriend or something…” Youngjae buried his face into the pillow he was holding, listening to the sound of crayons on paper and the low mumble of the TV.

“Daedae said he lives alone,” Jisung said. Youngjae peered over the pillow at his son, who was colouring away. “Daedae said when he goes home he makes himself ramen.”

Youngjae furrowed his brows, watching his son pick up another colour, going over the lines several times. That’s when an idea hit him. “Can you do me a favour tomorrow Jisungie?” His son looked up at him, doe eyed. “If I pack your lunch, can you take one for Daehyun?” His face lit up, smiling from ear to ear. Youngjae couldn’t help but smile back fondly before sliding to the floor and pulling out and crayon so he could colour with his son. 

Another hour later and he was packing away the colours and the pieces of paper into a folder and sliding them between the door and the armrest of the living room sofa and following Jisung into his bedroom. “Which pjs do you want little man?” Youngjae asked, rooting through the drawer.

“The kitty ones!” Jisung responded, standing on his tip toes, clearly giving Youngjae the moral support he needed. Youngjae passed his son his pajamas before helping him out of his clothes for the day and into the pjs and guiding him through to the bathroom. He stood him on a step, so he could reach the sink, putting toothpaste on his toothbrush and passing it to the small boy, watching him brush his teeth before making sure he spit and cleaned his mouth out. He and his son then ended up back in his bedroom before Youngjae tucked Jisung into bed and kissed his forehead. 

“Sleep well Jisungie,” Youngjae said, pulling the door to slightly while letting himself out of the room. He then walked through to the living room, slumping into the sofa while watching whatever cartoon was on TV, he couldn’t be bothered to change the channel. He felt himself growing tired before turning the TV off and dragging himself to the bathroom, getting ready for bed before going into his room, grabbing an old t-shirt and leaving his boxers, walking around the flat one last time to make sure everything was off before crawling into bed. He rolled over, closing his eyes for a moment before he saw the door push open and Jisung walked towards him.

“Dad, can’t sleep,” Jisung muttered, rubbing his eyes. Youngjae smiled softly, pulling his covers back and helping his son into bed. Jisung crawled towards him and he wrapped his arm around him, stroking his hair before hearing small soft breaths. Youngjae fell asleep to the sound of those.

 

~

 

The next day, Youngjae woke up to a bouncy Jisung, excited for his day at school because he’d get to see Daehyun and give him lunch. Youngjae was in the kitchen preparing a lunch box for Jisung and a second one for Daehyun. He packed them together neatly before putting them into Jisung’s backpack. 

“Now, promise me you’ll give one to Daehyun,” Youngjae bent down to his son’s level, smiling at him. 

“Yes sir!” Jisung shouted, saluting at his dad before taking his backpack and putting it on his back. Youngjae grabbed his things and headed out the door.

The drive was full of the man and his son singing loudly while driving before Youngjae pulled into the familiar parking lot at the nursery, seeing Daehyun fumbling with the keys at the door.

“Good morning,” Youngjae practically sang as he got out of the car. Daehyun looked over and ran towards him, helping the man get Jisung out of the car. 

“Good morning little kitty,” Daehyun sang in return as Jisung pulled out his backpack and opened it before handing one of the two lunchboxes to Daehyun.

“Dad made this for you,” he said, smiling brightly. Youngjae flushed, he really hoped Jisung wasn’t going to do that while he was still here, but, as timing would have it, it happened. 

“Thank you so much,” Daehyun responded, accepting the lunch box from Jisung and ruffling his hair, nose scrunching before turning to Youngjae and flashing him a warm smile. “Thanks, I’ve been really struggling this month.”

“It’s not problem,” Youngjae waved his hands in front of him, laughing nervously, “Jisung mentioned you were living off ramen so I assumed you might appreciate something and I just-“

“Thank you Youngjae,” Daehyun repeated, putting a hand on Youngjae’s shoulder. “I owe you one.”

“Don’t mention it,” Youngjae smiled, relaxing slightly before checking his phone, “oh sh-ugar,” Daehyun laughed at Youngjae’s censorship, “I have to go.”

“Yeah, see you later Youngjae, Jisung wave bye to dad,” Daehyun told Youngjae’s son, who was clinging to Daehyun’s arm, smiling and waving at his dad before being led over to the building, Daehyun letting the pair inside. Youngjae kept waving until they were out of sight them jumped into his car.

“Fuck, my boss is going to kill me,” Youngjae muttered, pulling out of the parking lot and driving to work. He got there 10 minutes late, running into work and clocking in to find Jongup ushering him over. Youngjae slid into his desk with a sigh of relief. 

“Jisung?” Jongup asked, sliding his office chair out. Youngjae nodded in response, putting his face in his hands and groaning, “what?”

“You know that cute guy at the daycare I’ve mentioned,” Youngjae started, running his hands down his face, “Jisung kind of mentioned he wasn’t eating right so I made him lunch and I just…couldn’t talk properly.”

“You’ve had a crush on him since Jisung started there, why don’t you just…I don’t know…ask him out?” Jongup suggested, shrugging before turning to his desk.

“Listen it’s not that easy,” Youngjae said, trying to find an excuse before his boss came past and gave him the oh so familiar lecture about being late and how he couldn’t always use his son as an excuse blah blah blah. A few moments later, Himchan came in holding a tray of coffees, passing one to Jongup and one to Youngjae as he walked passed before settling into his chair on the other side of Youngjae.

“So,” Himchan leaned back, “what kept you 10 minutes?” He took a long sip of his coffee. 

“Youngjae’s crush on the daycare worker,” Jongup answered, eyes focused on his screen. Youngjae turned to Jongup and scowled before turning to Himchan and smiling awkwardly.

“Just ask him out already,” Himchan groaned, rolling his eyes. Youngjae held his finger up to respond before Himchan continued, “and before you say: ‘it’s not that easy’ ‘what about Jisung’ and so on, you’ve already told us Jisung adores the dude, hell I’ve heard Jisung himself gush about the dude, he pretty much wants you to marry him at this point.”

“Shut up do not remind me,” Youngjae covered his face, “and hey,” Youngjae pulled his hands away, “he doesn’t want me to marry him.”

“He does, trust us,” Jongup said, “you can’t keep using the kid as an excuse to not date, even he’ll want to you to date eventually, may as well start now.”

The hours of work passed by a lot slower than Youngjae would’ve liked, with the constant teasing from Himchan and Jongup, to the heavy work load, Youngjae felt like it’d be a miracle if he survived the day. But he did. 

He pulled in to collect his son, finding Daehyun closing up and waiting with Jisung outside. Youngjae ran over to the pair, kneeling down and hugging Jisung before standing up and taking a deep breath, attempting to find courage.

“H-hey Daehyun,” Youngjae started, licking his lips nervously, “are you free say… right now?” Daehyun blinked in surprise, tilting his head slightly.

“Yeah,” Daehyun responded, putting his keys in his pocket, “why?”

“I m-mean um,” he stuttered, looking at his son who was waiting just as expectantly as Daehyun was before looking back at the nursery worker, “Jisung wants you to come over for dinner.” Youngjae looked back at his son, who was smiling brightly and clapping his hands together excitedly.

“Just Jisung?” Daehyun responded, grinning and chuckling to himself, “but sure, I’d love to come over for dinner.” There was a small awkward silence before he continued, “for Jisung, obviously.”

“Obviously,” Youngjae responded, clearing his throat then leading the way to his car, watching Daehyun buckle Jisung in the car seat in the back before jumping into the front with Youngjae. The drive was slightly awkward, Jisung was falling asleep in the back seat. “Long day?” Youngjae asked, watching Jisung in his rear-view mirror.

“Kid’s been on his feet all day,” Daehyun laughed, “how was work?” Youngjae was taken aback for a second, flashing a small smile.

“Work was good, busy,” Youngjae answered, eyes on the road before clarifying, “very busy.”

When they pulled into the apartment garage, Youngjae got Jisung out of the car and led the way up while Daehyun followed then Youngjae let the trio in. Jisung took his bag into his room, emptying it out before taking the lunch boxes over to Youngjae. The dad ruffled his son’s head.

“You wanna go watch TV while I make dinner?” Youngjae asked Jisung who nodded quickly before pulling Daehyun into the living room. Youngjae covered his mouth, laughing in response before getting started on dinner. While he was mid cooking, Daehyun walked into the kitchen.

“Lunch was great by the way, thanks a lot,” he said, “compliments to the chef.”

Youngjae giggled, “thank you, I’m uh, glad you liked it. I can do it again tomorrow if you’d like,” he offered, stirring one of his pots.

“I would like that,” Daehyun responded, “a lot actually,” he laughed nervously. Youngjae felt a hand on his back and turned his head to see Daehyun admiring his cooking. “Wow, looks great,” he said, smiling.

“Want a taste?” Youngjae asked, swallowing nervously. Daehyun’s eyes practically sparkled at the offer, giving the father a small nod before opening his mouth and saying ‘ah’. Youngjae giggling, holding his spoon and guiding the food to Daehyun’s mouth. He ate quickly before nodding in approval, smiling and giving a quick scrunch of his nose. Youngjae blushed in response.

“I’ll go check on Jisung,” Daehyun said, patting Youngjae’s back before leaving the kitchen. Youngjae didn’t realise how quickly his heart was racing until he had a moment to breath, inhaling and exhaling quickly. He finished cooking before preparing three plates and taking two of them through to the living room. Daehyun stood up and helped him, “go get your food,” he told the father. Youngjae was stunned but nodded, walking into the kitchen and grabbing his own plate before entering the living room. He found Jisung had already pulled out his little table and was eating while Daehyun watched him fondly, smiling while eating his own food. Youngjae awkwardly slid next to Daehyun, nodding at him while slowly eating his food. 

Once the trio had finished their food, before Youngjae could even attempt to, Daehyun grabbed his plate and Jisung’s and took them to the kitchen. Youngjae set Jisung up with some toys from his toy box before walking through the kitchen to find Daehyun washing up. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Youngjae asked, attempting to grab the sponge and plates from Daehyun’s hands but only to get lightly nudged away and a poke on the nose with a soapy sponge in response. “You’re our guest,” Youngjae whined, folding his arms.

“And you deserve a little break from routine,” Daehyun chuckled, finishing up, taking a towel and wiping the bubbles gently off of Youngjae’s nose. Youngjae blushed in response, unfolding his arms.

“Dad,” Jisung walked into the kitchen, tugging on Youngjae’s pants, “I’m tired.”

“Ok,” Youngjae said, smiling while being led by his son into his bedroom. Daehyun followed closely by, looking towards the bathroom.

“Hey Jisung,” Daehyun called, “why don’t we do your teeth now while your dad gets your pjs ready?” He suggested and Jisung apparently agreed because he led Daehyun into the bathroom. Youngjae pulled the boy’s pjs out, watching as Daehyun helped Jisung brush his teeth, making sure he was all rinsed before sending him in Youngjae’s direction. Youngjae helped his son change into his pjs before tucking him into bed and stroking his hair, waiting until he was sure the boy was asleep before pulling the door to.

“I should probably get going,” Daehyun said, smiling at Youngjae, “thanks for having me over.”

“Any time honestly,” Youngjae said, “I can give you a lift,” he offered.

“I don’t live far from here,” Daehyun said, “stop worrying,” he pinched the other man’s cheek gently. “See you tomorrow.”

Youngjae was about to let him go before he realised, “wait Daehyun,” the man stopped with his hand on the door handle, turning to Youngjae, “I don’t have your number.”

“Oops,” Daehyun chuckled, pulling his phone out of his pocket and handing it to Youngjae. The father input his number and passed it back to Daehyun, smiling. “I’ll text you later I guess,” Daehyun said with a smile before opening the door for himself and leaving, shutting it behind him. Youngjae sighed happily, closing his eyes for a moment and breathing it all in.

 

~

 

It somehow became a regular thing. Youngjae couldn’t explain to his co-workers how but a couple of months had gone by and Daehyun was over almost every night. Youngjae was curled up on the sofa, watching Daehyun play with Jisung and his toy cars. When Jisung started to feel sleepy, Daehyun took him and helped him get ready for bed, leaving Youngjae to his own devices until Daehyun walked back in. Youngjae started shivering as it was getting on for winter.

“Need a hug?” Daehyun asked, sitting next to Youngjae and opening his arms, Youngjae leaned into his embrace as the nursery worker rubbed his back and stroked his hair. 

Youngjae warmed up a little bit before stating, “I’ll go grab a jumper,” and making his way through to his bedroom, reaching into his wardrobe and grabbing one before slipping it on and making his way back through to the living room. He sat back down next to Daehyun, leaning his head on his shoulder comfortably. Daehyun wrapped his arm around Youngjae’s shoulder, leaning his head on the other male’s. “Wanna stay over?” Youngjae offered.

“Yeah, it’s getting late,” Daehyun laughed a little, “shall I take the couch?”

“No, it’s ok, you sleep in my bed,” Youngjae said, nodding towards the way.

“It’s your bed,” Daehyun said, as the pair stood up. He pushed Youngjae towards the door but Youngjae grabbed his arm and pulled him with him.

“I insist,” Youngjae said, pushing Daehyun in the same direction.

“And so do I so we can’t win,” Daehyun chuckled, pulling Youngjae with him. The battle continued until Youngjae tripped up when they were in his room, pulling Daehyun down with him so they landed on his bed with Daehyun on top of him. Youngjae’s face turned bright red, as did Daehyun’s. After a moment of awkward silence, they both burst out into laughter, Youngjae bringing his hands up to cover his face. Daehyun attempted to pull Youngjae’s hands away. “You’re cute, let me see.”

Youngjae’s laughter began to quieten, slowly moving his hands away from his face to look at Daehyun, “I’m not that cute.”

“But you aren’t denying you are,” Daehyun commented, grinning at the other male.

“My friends call me cute,” Youngjae said, rolling his eyes.

“Your friends, right,” Daehyun responded, sounding suspicious. Youngjae hit the other male’s chest gently, pushing him off of him attempting to sit up but Daehyun just pulled him down and into his embrace, “nope too late.” Youngjae giggled, kicking his legs but Daehyun just pulled one of his legs’ over the other male’s and pulled him closer, “mine now.”

“I mean,” Youngjae chuckled, “if you want,” he said without thinking before it sunk in and he covered his mouth. 

“Sorry what was that?” Daehyun asked, smirking at the other.

“I said nothing,” Youngjae responded, attempting to free himself of Daehyun’s grasp.

“Sure thing babe,” Daehyun laughed, letting the other go, “I’ll sleep in the living room.” He stood up and was about to start walking away when Youngjae grabbed his hand, squeezing it gently.

“Stay,” he told Daehyun, pulling his arm gently, “I want you to.” The other male smiled warmly at him, sitting back down on the bed as Youngjae got up and raided his wardrobe. “You’re about my size, right?”

“Probably,” Daehyun said, shrugging as a t-shirt was thrown at him. Youngjae grabbed one for himself then awkwardly made his way into the bathroom, nodding at him as he passed before getting himself ready and walking back into his bedroom to find Daehyun in the t-shirt he gave him and pulling the covers back. Youngjae turned the light off, walking around his bed and to the other side before crawling under the covers. 

They started out separate, both turned away from each other. They then turned to face each other, faces illuminated by what little moonlight they had entering the room. Then they shuffled closer together, wrapping their arms around each other, Daehyun slipping an arm underneath Youngjae’s neck to bring him closer.

“Night night Youngjae,” Daehyun said, pressing a kiss to Youngjae’s head. 

“Night Daehyun,” Youngjae muttered, drifting off to sleep.

 

~

 

Youngjae was at his monthly dinner with his co-workers, Himchan and Jongup and their boyfriends. Firstly, Himchan’s boyfriend Junhong was a tall boy who was only 2 years younger than himself currently working as an assistant to Jongup’s boyfriend, Yongguk. The pair worked in the music industry, producing songs for other artists and would often pull long nights. Youngjae was pretty sure Jongup was the reason Himchan and Junhong even began dating, even if it had been 2 years or so.

“So,” Himchan started, playing with his food, “how’s the boyfriend Youngjae?”

Youngjae quickly swallowed his food, hitting his chest while taking slow sips of his drink to prevent himself from choking. “What boyfriend?” He responded, coughing at the end of his question. “Daehyun?” Youngjae asked. Himchan and Jongup nodded in response. “We’re not dating.”

“Youngjae has a boyfriend?” Junhong asked, looking over at the man in question who narrowed his eyes at the youngest of the group.

“You’ve got to introduce us some time,” Yongguk told Youngjae, eyes not originally on him, taking a sip of his drink before then landing on him.

“He’s not,” Youngjae started before burying his face in his hands and groaning.

“He’s with Jisung right now, isn’t he?” Jongup asked. Youngjae pulled his hands away from his face, nodding slowly, “if you want, we,” pointing between him and Yongguk, “can take him for the day while you sort your feelings out with Daehyun.”

“That’s a great idea, what a brave sacrifice Uppie,” Himchan said, clapping his hands together before pinching Jongup’s cheek. The man scowled in response.

“Just because I’m awkward with kids, doesn’t mean I hate them,” Jongup pouted, smacking Himchan’s hand away, “I just prefer animals.”

“Which is why we own a dog,” Yongguk chuckled, ruffling Jongup’s hair.

They fell into conversation about this and that before Youngjae decided it was 10pm and he really needed to get back to his son and his not-boyfriend. Himchan and Junhong gave him a lift home and Youngjae ran up the stairs and let himself in.

“Hey,” Youngjae started, seeing no one in sight, “sorry I’m later than planned I just got so caught up,” he said taking his coat off, “I hope everything was ok with Jisung and you-,” he cut himself off as he took a peek inside Jisung’s room and his heart melted. He found Daehyun in Jisung’s bed with the small male curled up next to him and a book on his chest, both sleeping soundly. Youngjae smiled to himself, tip toeing into the room and removing the book from the man’s chest before pulling the covers over them gently. He kissed Jisung’s head gently before brushing the hair out of Daehyun’s eyes and leaning in to kiss his head.

 

~

 

It was on one of the days when Daehyun wasn’t staying over that Jisung decided it was the perfect opportunity to throw one of his tantrums. It wasn’t that Youngjae couldn’t deal with that it’s that it was about Daehyun. Youngjae felt like him and the boy were going around in circles as he kept asking where the man was and Youngjae couldn’t tell him specifically.

“Why isn’t Daedae here?” Jisung asked, voiced raised, stomping the floor. Daehyun had said he had to meet with his landlord, something about a tri-monthly inspection or something and considering he hadn’t been home much he really had to clean. His words, not Youngjae’s.

“He has to take care of adult things Jisungie,” Youngjae responded calmly, kneeling down to Jisung’s level, holding out his hand, “he has to sort out his home.”

“Why can’t he just live here?” Jisung whined, stomping his foot again. “And you and Daedae can get married and I can have two dads.”

“It’s not that simple baby, you know that,” Youngjae sighed, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, “we have to sort out our feelings and I don’t even know if Daehyun feels the same way.”

“What kind of feelings?” Jisung asked, quietening a little bit, tears in his eyes. Youngjae opened his arms and Jisung ran forwards into them while Youngjae stroked his hair.

“Adult feelings, you’ll understand when you’re older,” he whispered, kissing the little boy’s cheek gently. Jisung struggled in his hold, writhing against him before Youngjae released the young boy.

“If you don’t marry Daedae, then I will!” Jisung exclaimed, folding his arms and pouting.

Youngjae chuckled, covering his mouth, “Jisung honey I think you’re a bit young to-“

“No,” Jisung said, “you have to marry Daedae!” The boy ran out of the room and into his bedroom, leaving Youngjae alone in the living room, standing up slowly and reaching for his phone. He knew if he called Daehyun he was admitting defeat in his little argument against his son, but, it was the only thing he could do. He dialled the number, waiting for an answer, which he got on the last ring.

“Hey,” Daehyun’s voice said on the other end, “my landlord just left, what’s up?” He sounded tired, Youngjae felt bad.

“It’s nothing it’s just-“ Youngjae started.

“You never ring me for no reason Youngjae,” Daehyun responded, “what’s wrong?”

“Jisung’s having a tantrum,” Youngjae chuckled to himself, “he doesn’t want to talk to me. He wants you.”

“God you make me sound like his dad,” he heard Daehyun laughing on the other end, “want me to come over?”

“Aren’t you tired?” Youngjae asked, feeling bad, “I can just pass the phone to him it’s fine.”

“Too late, I’m already out the door,” Daehyun said, Youngjae could hear keys jingle in the background before he huffed and started walking. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

True to his word, Daehyun showed up at the door a few minutes later, slightly breathless and red nosed from the cold. Youngjae walked towards him, helping his taking his coat off and hugging him.

“He’s in his room, do you want anything?” Youngjae asked, hands running down the other’s arms before landing on his hands, “you’re freezing, I’ll make you a drink.”

“It’s ok, give me a minute or so,” Daehyun whispered, running his hand over Youngjae’s hair before passing him and entering Jisung’s room. Youngjae wanted to distract himself and grab tea for Daehyun but he couldn’t help but linger around the outside of the door and listen in, biting his lip before caving and turning to his nails. 

It had been a while since Youngjae hadn’t been able to cope.

“Hey kid,” Daehyun said quietly, “what’s wrong?” 

“Dad said you couldn’t be here,” Youngjae could practically hear his son’s pout in his voice, “said it was adult stuff.”

“It was adult stuff but it’s sorted now,” Daehyun responded.

“I just want you and dad to be together,” Jisung said. “And you two can get married and dad will be happy.”

“Woah,” Daehyun replied, clearly taken back by the bold statement his son made. Youngjae covered his mouth, laughing to himself, “it’s not that easy kid, we have to sort out our…adult feelings.”

“That’s what dad said too,” Jisung huffed. Youngjae could tell by now he was folding his arms. 

“Really?” Daehyun asked, letting out a small laugh at the end, “why are you so worried about your dad being happy kid?” Daehyun sounded…concerned.

“He doesn’t seem happy, especially this time of year,” Jisung admitted, “Last Christmas he was crying in living room, asking for help from someone.”

Youngjae’s heart dropped. He covered his mouth and walked away from the door slowly. He couldn’t believe his son had to witness that. He made his way into his bedroom and crawled under the covers. Hearing that from Jisung was the last thing he needed. About 30 minutes passed before Daehyun walked in, shutting the door behind him and crawling under the covers.

“Care to explain what’s got you so down?” He asked, pulling Youngjae into his arms. Youngjae hesitated, looking into Daehyun’s eyes before feeling the first set of tears rolling down his face. Daehyun wiped them away gently, smiling at him softly. 

“I,” Youngjae started, “I’m not Jisung’s real dad…”

Daehyun’s expression didn’t change as he waited for Youngjae to continue, opening his arms and pulling him against his chest, allowing Youngjae to settle there before he continued.

“Jisung is my nephew,” Youngjae started, pacing his every word, “my brother and his wife, you see, were great people. The nicest people you’d ever meet. My brother encouraged me to do everything, he was the reason I was in university studying literature of all things, but, he told me to follow my dreams, so I tried to. When I found out he was having a child I was so happy for him and everything was perfect. And he and his wife often went and did charity work. They’d help people abroad,” Youngjae stopped, feeling his throat choke up slightly when he began to cry again, “they were away while I was babysitting Jisung for the week, he was only 6 months old. When I got the n-news,” he croaked, “that an army of some kind had invaded where they were helping out and that…they died…I didn’t know to do.” 

Tears were streaming down Youngjae’s face as he sobbed uncontrollably while the memories of that event flooded his mind and overwhelmed him. Daehyun pulled him up to sit in front of him, stroking his hair, kissing his forehead, “it’s ok, you don’t have to keep going.”

“I want to...” Youngjae said, taking a deep breath while wiping the tears away, even though he knew he'd probably cry some more, “my brother left Jisung to me, he’d sorted out as soon as he was born that if anything happened to him he would go under my care. I dropped out of university, the reason I’m under the job I am now is because I was friends with Jongup and Himchan at the time…I shut myself off…I owe them a lot because they’d give me any spare money they had…I couch hopped with Jisung for two years before getting this place…”

“And then you brought him to daycare centres,” Daehyun said. Youngjae looked down and nodded.

“Every year, I’d spend Christmas alone…with Jisung…the only thing left of my brother,” Youngjae buried his face against Daehyun’s shoulder, “I couldn’t do anything, I was so worried about him. I haven’t been able to do anything for myself in 5 years and every time I do I feel bad.”

“You don’t want to rely on others,” Daehyun said, stroking Youngjae’s hair, “but it’s ok to have to. And it’s too late now anyway.”

“Huh?” Youngjae asked, pulling back to look Daehyun in the eye.

“You have me now,” Daehyun responded, smiling softly, “I’m not going anywhere Youngjae, not just for Jisung, for you.”

“What do you mean?” Youngjae asked, blinking rapidly.

“I like you,” Daehyun said, “I’ve liked you from the moment you brought Jisung in to the daycare and every time he gushed about you while he was drawing pictures of you two I fell for you a little more. The more I came over here and the more I got to know you the more I fell for you and I feel like I can safely say I love you. Let me share this burden with you, please.”

Youngjae couldn’t believe Daehyun was practically asking permission to love him. He couldn’t believe any of this was happening. He was pinching his wrist to make sure and this was definitely happening. His eyes looked anywhere but Daehyun’s face while his mind raced about the words he’d just heard before landing back on Daehyun’s eyes who were staring right at him, into his soul.

“It’s ok,” he spoke softly, “I’m here now.”

Youngjae attempted to blink back tears while Daehyun placed his hands on either side of his face, wiping the tears away. “I love you too,” he confessed, swallowing heavily, “I was just so worried how you’d react to all of this that I didn’t know what to do…what to say…”

“Well I’m reacting quite well, wouldn’t you say so?” Daehyun asked, chuckling, stroking Youngjae’s cheeks. Youngjae nodded, nuzzling into one of his hands. 

 

~

 

Youngjae had to officially say Christmas was a nightmare. Yongguk had invited everyone, including Jisung over for a Christmas party and he’d be instructed to bring Daehyun with him. So here he was, nursing his drink while Jisung was playing with Tigger alongside Yongguk and Daehyun was chatting away with Himchan. 

“He’s nice,” Jongup commented, smiling at his friend and nudging him gently, “maybe Jisung’s right.”

“I don’t need this from you too,” Youngjae groaned, taking a sip before putting his glass down. Jongup chuckled, shrugging. Daehyun looked over, catching Youngjae’s glance and smiling at him while continuing whatever he and Himchan were so chatty about. Junhong was joining them as well. Jongup tugged Youngjae’s arm, leading him somewhere before placing him in a spot.

“Stay,” Jongup said, holding his hands out and slowly backing away. Youngjae furrowed his eyebrows but shrugged and stood still, waiting for…something he guessed. Eventually, Daehyun was also pushed into the room before the door closed behind him. 

“Any ideas?” Daehyun asked, smiling at him but just as confused. Youngjae smiled back but shrugged, laughing. His boyfriend walked over to him before wrapping his arms around his waist and glancing up. “Oh.”

Youngjae glanced up as well to see mistletoe. “Oh.” 

The pair laughed together, leaning their foreheads against one another’s before Youngjae took a deep breath and sealed the gap, pressing his lips to Daehyun’s and wrapping his arms around the other’s neck. They pulled back for a moment before leaning in and kissing each other again gently, smiling into the kiss then pulling back.

“Merry Christmas Youngjae,” Daehyun said, kissing the corner of Youngjae’s mouth. The other giggled in response, kissing the corner of Daehyun’s mouth and pulling him close.

“Merry Christmas Daehyun,” Youngjae responded, nuzzling his face against his shoulder and glancing up to see Himchan, Jongup and Jisung peeking from behind the door. Youngjae narrowed his eyes at the trio who slowly backed away. “We were being watched.” Daehyun chuckled, rubbing Youngjae’s back.

“Jisung planned it all, I heard him talking to Yongguk about mistletoe,” Daehyun told Youngjae. He didn’t know whether to be proud or annoyed by his son’s schemes.

“He’s picking up my bad habits,” Youngjae responded, pulling away from Daehyun. 

“I think it’s a cute habit,” Daehyun commented, kissing Youngjae’s head, causing the other to blush and then hit the other’s chest, gently.

“Shut up,” Youngjae said, holding Daehyun’s hand and walking out of the room before walking over to Jisung and kneeling down, Daehyun kneeling with him, “are you happy now?”

Jisung beamed in response, hugging both of them, “yes dad,” he responded, burying himself between the two adults. The two held Jisung in their arms for a moment before letting him go back to play with Tigger. 

“Maybe it’s a good habit,” Youngjae muttered, chuckling to himself, looking at Daehyun. The other chuckled in response before kissing Youngjae’s forehead, “I should probably thank him.”

“Maybe when he’s older,” Daehyun responded, laughing at himself. Youngjae covered his mouth, laughing as well.


End file.
